In the winter of last year, I made plans with a friend of mine, to take a trip to Boston in the next summer. I was so excited because I love the city of Boston especially in the summer.
As time came close I was really looking forward to the trip and texted my friend to confirm that our weekend plans were still on.
The possibility of us not going was not anywhere close to my mind. I got a text back on Thursday the week of travel that my friend wasn’t going to make it because her sister was hospitalized.
I remember being conflicted in how I felt because we were supposed to go to Boston and something out of our control happened. That meant that I couldn’t be excited anymore about the trip. Where was that excitement going to go? I was disappointed.
Anytime our expectations and hopes are not met, we get disappointed. I know we have all been disappointed at one point in life, but the question is, how do we move on from there?
The Bible says in Proverbs 13:12 that Hope deferred makes the heart sick…...
Before I knew God and had allowed Him to heal my heart, every time I got disappointed, I tried to make sense of it with hopes of preventing it from happening again. I would come to conclusions that would only make sense to my head since my was heart couldn’t change the feeling of disappointment.
So, I started to believe lies about myself, sometimes I became ashamed to admit that I had hopes or expectations especially when it came to things I needed. This meant that I kept my needs to myself and I would not let a soul know what I needed since I didn’t want them to give me hopes and then disappoint me later. In some areas of my heart I decided I will not feel like that again, and that meant that I had to protect myself.
We have all been hurt by disappointment . Sometimes people don’t know how to stop the hurt that comes from it, and to some disappointment has created patterns of behavior that they don’t want but are very afraid not to have them because the pain of disappointment is too much to face. Yet as much as we get disappointed, we have to admit that we also disappoint others.
In my situation with my friend it was clear that she disappointed me, yet it didn’t even cross my mind that I disappointed her as a friend that I didn’t understand how scared she was with her sister’s medical condition.
As I realized that my heart was disappointed, It was very important for me to acknowledge that I was disappointed because my heart had started to resent my friend, in which the resentment came from me feeling angry that my friend cancelled the trip. I was going back to my old patterns of behaviors’ other words; my heart was getting sick. It wasn’t giving love to my friend and wasn’t able to receive love from her.
I knew I had to forgive her and I did, yet in my heart I knew that if I didn’t express anything to her, she would never ever know what happened when the trip was cancelled. I loved the friendship and I didn’t think it would be fair to sweep it under the rug. So, I reached out to her and expressed to her that when the trip was canceled I was upset and my heart was beginning to resent her, and I explained to her that I cared about the friendship that I didn’t want the enemy to use that as a way to destroy the friendship.
She didn’t understand what I was saying to her at the beginning because she thought I was trying to blame her. I knew that I could easily be frustrated with that yet I realized that my whole intention was going to be defeated so I clarified what happened and she understood.
To many disappointment started at a very young age and have never known how not to be disappointed. In other words, there is no hope for anything especially if it was fundamental people that failed us.
We believed the lies at a very young age and the lies became our truth. We don’t know how to share what we need with others. Our ability to hope has been shattered and we don’t know how to move forward.
Some feel disappointed by God. You have believed God and trusted Him and still nothing has happened. You don’t have hope in God and your heart is sick.
As a start let’s try to identify areas we have been disappointed. Then acknowledge that disappointment because you have to know how you have been disappointed especially if you want to have a healthy heart.
Ask yourself, are you ready to deal with It or you want to keep it lingering since it makes you feel validated that someone else caused you pain and you have no control over it?
If you are ready, will you choose to forgive whoever it is?
One of God’s attributes is that God is faithful, sometimes when things don’t go as we thought they should we find our hearts disappointed by God. It’s very crucial that we know God’s heart and His nature to be able to process our disappointments with God.
I want to close with this quotation from A.W. Tozer about God’s faithfulness in his book the knowledge of the Holy (page 85)
All of God’s acts are consistent with all of His attributes. No attribute contradicts any other, but all harmonize and blend into each other in the infinite abyss of the Godhead.
All that God does agree with all that God is, and being and doing are one in Him. The familiar picture of God as often torn between His justice and His mercy is altogether false to the facts. To think of God as inclining first toward one and then toward another of Hi attributes is to imagine a God who is unsure of Himself. Frustrated and emotionally unstable, which of course is to say that the one of whom we are thinking is not the true God at all but a weak, mental reflection of Him badly out of focus.
God being who He is, cannot cease to be what He Is, and being what he is, He cannot act out of character with Himself. He is at once faithful and immutable, so all His words and acts must be and must remain faithful. Men become unfaithful out of desire, fear, weakness, loss of interest, or because of some strong influence from without.
Obviously, none of these forces can affect God in any way. He is His own reason for all He is and does. He cannot be compelled from without, but ever speaks and acts from within Himself by His own sovereign will as it pleases him…………….
Upon God’s faithfulness rests our whole hope of future blessedness.